stuffz portion

take this as a vent or whatever you may, these are just lyrics/phrases/poems/sentences i really love or can heavily relate 2. I also get most of my discord statuses here so yay

  • "I don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory, i'm not the girl i ought to be. but maybe when you tell your friends, you can tell then what you saw in me. and not the way i am"

  • "You touch your computer more than you ever touch me."

  • "Do you lik secret stuff! ^ _ ^ yah!! you feel as tho the stuff i gave u wasn enough...? uh-huh!1!"

  • "hey i'll call yo- 1 minute remaining morrow okay?"

  • "I just pretend to be cool, when I'm scared or hurt there is no one I can talk to. all I can do is cry on my own"

  • "baby, dont let me go. I want you to know you can run right back."

  • "Ive lied for you, and i liked it too. but my knees are bruised, from kneeling to you."

vent portion

does anyone else just feel worthless, and insecure. I'm not good at anything, not even the things i love doing. It really feels like if i died it would have no impact on anybody, i dont really have a true friend they all are getting so distant, or maybe im the problem. maybe im the one pushing them away? maybe im the problem, or maybe im just so unfunny and unsociable that they hate me and try to avoid me. i hate feeling alone, im always the second option too. everyone has their first pick, and it hurts knowing that im nobodys. im always the second option, and the replacement for whenever somebody isnt at school. everyone has their little buddy, im nobodys. im just a background character. people cant even let go of my past self or actions. but when i really think about it, maybe the past is still inside of me. maybe thats why im so hated. all i can really do is listen to music and cry about my problems. theres nothing i can do to fix them either, everybody holds a grudge on me. i think the thing that hurts the most is my favorite person is becoming distant with me, and it feels like i have nobody. i feel so annoying talking in groupchats because nobody responds for 6 hours. everyone has a life but me, im just sitting here rotting with my headphones on, its really not fair why is life so hard. im not even academically smart im just there. im a wanna be of everyone too, i just copy people i dont think there is a real me, i can easily be professional, goofy asf, silent, anything. yet i can be everything besides funny. additionally pretty. i just feel so alone, but i probably deserve it. im such a terrible person i deserve everything bad

pastriez timeline portion

current position: staff assistant

  • 5/4/22 - Staff Assistant

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